New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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