S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
