i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
