whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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