I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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