on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
