You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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