He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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