i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
