you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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