I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
