But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
