Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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