So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
