I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
