Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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