is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
a search helicopter?!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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