Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
