So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize