My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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