We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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