He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
