we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
