I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
