cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
