Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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