Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
