Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize