do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
