Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
