walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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