You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
