Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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