either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
