I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
