sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
