We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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