I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize