I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
