i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
