Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
