I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
