Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
