then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
