hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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