I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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