Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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