Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
