she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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