If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize