I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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