Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
