Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we're so committed to being not committed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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