1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
