Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
