So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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