And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
