butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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