I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
