From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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