I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
