Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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