i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize