got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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