No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
