We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
