That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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