fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
