Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
