Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
