Christians are straight up FREAKS
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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