he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
that is very illegal...i love you.
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