She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
