She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
